It’s Saturday morning; cool with a slight breeze after some rain last night. Darin has been gone for 2 weeks and we have one week to go until he is back home. We dealt with load shedding (power cuts) the first week he was gone and a car breaking down the second week, so hopefully this last week will be smooth sailing.
I picked up my new bite guard on Wednesday. I have managed to sleep with it for one night. If anyone has tips on getting used to sleeping with plastic in your mouth, let me know! I tried to sleep with it in last night and after tossing and turning for a few hours I gave up.
I have been trying to find the areas of stress in my life as a bite guard, even one that I keep in my mouth all night, is not the solution to my teeth grinding. I discovered something I need that is often hard to come by; I need time alone. Completely alone. The kids slept over at friends (thank you Oosthuizen family) the weekend Darin left and when I walked into our empty house after dropping Darin off at the airport, I felt this rush of peace and joy and refreshing as soon as I opened the door. The silence and stillness and knowledge that I was on my own was amazing. Don’t get me wrong; I love my family and I love being with them, but I need time to be by myself.
The kids are gone again this weekend and as soon as they were outside the gate, I felt like my soul was dancing. My evening was spent watching TV, working on home school plans, eating ramen noodles with fried eggs and reading. While these are all things I can do and have done with other people in the house, knowing I was alone cleared my mind and calmed my often anxiously beating heart.
I cannot always be alone, but even when there are people around me, I am looking for ways to carve out time for stillness. I put a table in our bedroom and started a puzzle. I have tried putting on music a couple mornings this week and inviting the kids to sit and do devotions together, which kind of eases us into the day in a more “peaceful” way. While I am not alone for this, it is calmer than our usual start that involves a lot of me hollering at the kids that it’s time for them to sit down and get started with school.
Are there any other bite guard wearing introverts out there?? If so, I’d love to hear how you find time to be alone while surrounded by your people.