Another update
Darin and I are in Swaziland right now. He is currently out
meeting with people for business and I am just chilling in our room. It is the
perfect kind of holiday for me. We do hope to do a bit of sightseeing tomorrow
before we drive back to Hammanskraal, but I think we both needed some time to
just totally relax.
Things have been busy back at home. Darin’s mom arrived on
the 20th and her time here has already been full. Tyson and Jori
have been spending every evening at Grandma Karen’s playing card games and
begging for snacks. I am sure they will
be trying to wheedle even more goodies out of her now that we aren’t there, but
she can handle them! I love a grandma who isn’t afraid to say NO!! Not only has
Karen been busy with our kids, but she has also been going on walks and playing
with the little ones at TYB. They are already calling her “grandma” J To top it all off, she
has been cleaning and painting down in our new cottage, getting it ready for
the big move this weekend. Hooray for Grandma Karen. Seriously, I am so thankful
to have her around right now. What a blessing she is to all of us.
Yes, the big move will be taking place soon. I am getting
really excited about having our own space, but at the same time I am a bit
apprehensive about leaving the main house. For all the craziness and noise and
the lack of privacy, I totally love it. I think out of the 4 Feys, I will be
the saddest to move. We will all miss different parts of being in the main
house, but I feel like over this past year I have been doing what God made me
to do and He set me in a place where there were non-stop opportunities to
serve. I worry (oh yes, I still worry!) that being away, even just a short
distance away, is going to change all of that. I worry that my human tendencies
of serving self and seeking solitude will grow wild and diminish my passion to
be hands on. When you wake up to crying babies and are constantly hearing “Auntie
Jonna”, it is pretty hard not to step in and be hands on. So I have these weird
fears that I will revert to me old self, and maybe there is some pride involved
too, that I will be less “worthy” in some way.
Ok, there is definitely pride,
which is pathetic and kind of stinky to acknowledge, but it’s there. It was one
thing when our family was living in South Africa, but since we’ve been living
in a house taking care of orphaned and vulnerable children…that kind of made us
something, and being acknowledged for doing something that so many people
thought was all sorts of wonderful and hard felt really good. (How’s that for
honesty!) So maybe I fear that by stepping out of the main house we will become
less in the eyes of some people, and that is something I really need to fight
against because it is so not about me. Really, it isn’t, but I’m just putting
the ugly side of things out there.
Ok, then, moving on… I really am looking forward to having a
more “normal” family life, if there is such a thing. Tyson and Jori are growing
and changing right before our eyes. When did Jori stop needing a step stool to
reach the bathroom sink? How is it possible that Tyson can reach my neck to hug
me without standing on his tip toes? Not only are they growing physically, but
in so many other ways as well. I feel like this experience has been mostly so
good for them, sharing their mom and dad, learning to live with lots of other
children and all the rest, but I also feel like Darin and I haven’t done all
the parenting stuff we should have been doing and it is time for some changes!
We are thankful to know that God is good and His grace will cover our
inadequacies!
So please be praying for us as we move and enter another new
phase of life here in South Africa! If you would also start praying NOW for
Darin as he will soon be starting the process of renewing his visa. The rest of
the family will fall under him, so he is the key person for all of us. As most
of you know, his current visa is business specific for the petrol station and
he won’t be able to renew it for the same business as things haven’t gone
according to plan…. So, we are just trusting that God will open new doors and
smooth out the way for Darin to move forward with a different partner. If there
are major roadblocks, we will need to make some big decisions about our future
here. Personally, I try to just not think about it right now. We do know that
God is in control and we want to be where He wants us to be and we trust that
if He wants us to stay, He’ll make that possible!
Early Thanksgiving greetings to our friends in the US! Eat
some pumpkin pie for me!
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