Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Quiet

It is Wednesday night. I am sitting at the computer with a fan blowing at my fingers as the internal fan in our computer stopped working and blowing a fan at the computer is now the only way to keep it from frying up inside. It’s all good for now, but I think I’ll need to find some fingerless gloves before winter as even without a fan blowing on my fingers in winters past, typing with frozen fingers has been a challenge.

My parents left on Sunday. We had a great time together. We spent almost a week in St. Lucia (South Africa, not the island) and it was fab. Really, one of the best holidays we’ve had; a great location, lots to see and do and a perfect fit for all ages, including the old folks. Just kidding mom and dad!! We also had fun just hanging out, playing cards, eating dessert, and talking, like really talking and being able to share some things that we’ve been working through and being able to bounce ideas off of two people much wiser than us.

Darin also left on Sunday for Malawi. He went to deliver Sawyer water filters and meet with some NGOs who might be interested in placing orders in the future. WHEN that happens, I am going back with him. Who wants to come watch our kids?? He is having a great time, says the country is beautiful, was able to hang out with our friends Hans and Gerrie (hello!) in Mzuzu and met up with some Hudsonville peeps in Lilongwe, the Palmbos family, who we didn’t know when we lived in H-ville. Such a small and wonderful world. He is coming back on Saturday and we are all so excited to see him! I will be especially happy to give him back his morning routine of waking up the kids, packing their lunches and seeing them off to school.

While I do miss my parents and my hubby, I will admit to enjoying the space. Lately I have been feeling peopled out, and having extra people in our home was wonderful, but I think my capacity for being kind and embracing and loving has been heading towards the negative for quite some time, so my poor parents did not always see me at my best, which is sad. On the whole introvert/extrovert scale, I would say I am more on the introverted side. Being here at Tshepo ya Bana has been a very stretching and growing experience for me and I am thankful for it. Interacting with social workers, spending time with volunteers, meeting adoptive parents, and having little chats with people I don’t know and may never see again are all things I would not say I have been overly comfortable with, but I have managed and I think have done a pretty good job. It is just hard to always feel like I have to be “on” and sometimes my being kind to people outside of my family has left me less than kind towards the 3 people I share a home with.

So, for this week, I am embracing space. I am filling my time with Amo cuddles, books, sitting in the sun, watching little ones chase and then run away from bugs, and drinking an extra cup of coffee each day. I am trying to herd my two loves home after I get them from school, supervise their homework, help them get a snack and just be more available to them. The somewhat irritating noise of the running fan is helping with this as I am quick to shut down the computer to have a bit of quiet, which means less time spent browsing through facebook and checking to see if anyone has sent an email.
I am also trying to be intentional about seeking God, whether through reading the Bible, through music or just sitting in quiet contemplation thinking on how He has brought us so far and has been so faithful. He is such a good and loving God and so often I forget to take the time to talk with him.


Please pray for Darin as he flies back to us on Saturday for safety and an on time flight. Thank you for so faithfully bringing our family to the Lord!

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