We are back out at the farm and it is SO good to be here. As we drove in on the "spooky road", also known as the back entrance, we saw a huge group/flock of ostrich running down the road. There was one male and 9 females. After we unloaded the car, Darin went to check on the garden. He thought he saw a large animal, but couldn't tell what it was. Sometimes we see something that looks large and it turns out to be the back end of a zebra, but we decided to pile in the car and go check things out. It's a good thing we did, because it was a rhino! This guy was huge and he just sauntered around, calmly eating grass as we followed him around our farm and the neighbors place as well. Mr. Rhino had to go #2 and then he kicked grass and dirt over it with his huge back feet. You learn something new every day! We also saw a herd of wildebeest with some babies, zebra, impala and blesbok. What a great welcome home committee!
We have really appreciated all the support and encouragement that you all have sent since I laid out all the heavy stuff we've been facing. Just knowing that so many people are praying for us has been a huge blessing. I think that putting it all out there has also given Darin and I the push we needed to sit down and start communicating again, which is a wonderful thing. We've been able to talk about our relationship and also about all the other stuff that's going on in our lives in a way that is actually loving and productive. So thanks for cheering us on and keep praying. We don't know what God has in store for us, but we are so thankful to know that no matter what happens we have friends and family standing in the gap for us.
I think that we sometimes allow our pride to get in the way of sharing our struggles. It's hard to put it all out there and know that there might be people who will think less of us because we don't have it all together (had you fooled there for a while, didn't we!). I also think that as Christians, it can be hard to share our issues because a lot of people in the church are walking around like they have it all together and left all their problems in their pre-churchgoing days. So then we measure ourselves against these "perfect" Christians who have it all together and we always come up lacking, at least in our minds. So instead, we try to keep up the façade of having it all together so we can try to look as perfect as the people around us seem to be. Rather than the church being a place where we can be open and spill our guts and know that we will experience grace and love, we live in fear of condemnation, which sadly becomes a reality in some churches.
All of that to say, I'm really glad we got over ourselves, spilled our guts, and found that we have a community that has been gracious and loving instead of ripping us to shreds for not being good enough or worthy enough to be out here doing what we're doing. We aren't ready to throw in the towel and we are blessed to have people encouraging us to wait on God and see what He is doing.