A couple days ago Darin and I were sitting outside reading while the kids ran around kicking a soccer ball through the yard when I was struck by the irony of our current situation. Right now we are, without a doubt, at the least financially stable point of our lives. We have no savings, no income, no money of our own, other than the stuff in an IRA and a couple other pockets of money that we cannot touch for many years. We are living off of borrowed money, credit card debt and some gifts from family and friends. We have borrowed money in the past, to make a down payment on a house and to finish off a basement, but when we borrowed Darin had a steady job and we knew we'd be able to pay back the loan in a couple years and keep living as comfortably as we were used to living. We are not poor, not even close. We still have those funds tucked away for the future and we know that we have opportunities available to us to make money, just maybe not in this country.
Now, here's the irony; right now, IRA's and future possibilities for making income aside, our financial situation is precarious, at best, but we are living the most luxurious life that we have ever lived. We are living inside of a game reserve, something very few people will ever get to do. We can hop in our car and go on game drives every day, seeing rhino, kudu, ostrich, giraffe, eland, zebra, wildebeest and more. We are still cooking for ourselves, cleaning our own toilets and doing our own laundry, but we also have the luxury of living a life where both of us are home with the kids all day, every day. I might get the chance to stay home with the kids again, but for Darin this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. We have time to read books for pleasure, every day. We spend time together cooking meals from scratch, something we never had time to do before. We get to hear our kids play pretend and listen to the funny stuff they say and see their little minds working as they learn new things each day. Do we always relish our kids being with us all day, every day? Truthfully, no, but we are wise enough to realize it is a privilege and blessing that many of our friends and family would love to have. Our house sitting stint in December was more like a month long vacation, filled with swimming, sunning, eating fresh fruit, watching mindless TV and talking with friends via the wonders of the internet. We will most likely never, ever have a month to just sit and do absolutely nothing until we retire!
We are just an average family getting to live an above average life. It almost makes me laugh to think that on the one hand we can't pay for groceries, but on the other hand we are living a total dream life. I think I'm going to keep embracing the "dream life" as a gift that God is giving our family as He prepares us for whatever is coming next.
Just so you don't get the wrong idea about us, we don't plan to live like moochers for the rest of our life, but for the time being we don't really have a choice. We are still in this time of waiting; this indefinite, seemingly unending time of waiting. At this point, we can't just leave. We have a lot of time and money, both our own and others, invested in this business venture, and to just pack up and leave wouldn't be the prudent thing to do. I feel like both Darin and I have been broken down enough that we fully realize we are not in control of our lives. This doesn't mean that our trust in God is anywhere close to being perfect, because we still have a long way to go, but we are well aware that God is in a much better position to move the powers that be in the different government and land management departments than we are. We have done, and will continue to do, what we can to keep the process moving forward, but we do so knowing that God's plan for us, which may not be what we have so carefully planned on and prepared for, will always be the best path for us to follow.
While we wait for that plan to unfold, we will just keep enjoying the ironic life that we've found ourselves in.