Monday, June 27, 2011

Monday night

It’s Monday night. The kids are curled up watching a movie that we borrowed from the DiCocco’s. It is almost 6 and tonight that means it is almost bedtime for two very tired children! There is a herd of blesbok on two sides of the fence. They are chasing each other around and making their “huffing” noise. It is fun to just stand and watch. Just your typical night out in the bush : )
Today being a Monday means that we’ve been here in South Africa for 2 weeks. The first couple days I was kind of just recovering from jet lag. The next couple days I enjoyed being out in the “wild” and just enjoyed getting reacquainted with the place we had stayed in 2008. Then, something changed. I was feeling anxious and unsettled. I started thinking “We need to find more permanent housing NOW. We need to decide what church we’ll be attending long term TODAY. We need to ditch the rental and find ourselves a car IMMEDIATELY. We need to make appointments to check out schools THIS VERY MOMENT.” That kind of thinking is what drives a person crazy. I could tell I was feeling more weepy and stressed out and not having very much fun. Instead of enjoying this beautiful house we are currently staying in, I was noticing all the negative things about it and focusing on those things. I was feeling overwhelmed with how far away from schools, churches, and bigger grocery stores we were. Instead of enjoying the gift of time and space we’d been given, I was feeling this huge internal push to have everything figured out yesterday!
Towards the end of last week, something changed. I think it was after we looked at the house near Rosslyn. You can go back and read about how “He knows what we need and what we want” (I would link to it, but I’m not online!) if you would like. Anyways, something changed in me. I started feeling like I was able to enjoy the small things again. I wasn’t feeling so rushed about everything. It was like God opened my eyes to the beauty around.
This morning in “Jesus Calling” I read the following:
“Rest with me a while. You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nor before you. Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant Companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey.”
Right now I am working on resting. For a while. We don’t know where we’ll be next month. We don’t know what school our kids will be at next year. We don’t know when our business will be up and running. I don’t know much of anything right now, but I know the One who does and I’m working to focus my attention on Him and not on all the other stuff.


ememby said...

My mom has had Jesus Calling sitting at their house for the past year and I've walked by it numerous times and finally noticed it this weekend so I asked if I could borrow it and I read the very same thing this morning. :) So timely.

Anonymous said...

That was a beautifully written post this morning. Thanks for sharing - I love to read your raw emotions in things...just makes me realize that we are all on a journey. Love you lots Jonna!!!


Jeff and Rebecca Steigenga said...

Someone once told me that one bad thing about being a woman with the ability to multi-task is that we rob ourselves of the current joys we are in. Even down to the simplicity of enjoying a single bite of food because as we eat we are already thinking about doing dishes or what has to happen after the meal! We a women need to enjoy EVERY SINGLE thing we do RIGHT NOW! We need to stop once in a while.

Anonymous said...

proud of u jonna..kris induced on 7/5tuesday..might go brfore that...xox,,,me

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